What If?

What would it be like if you woke up one morning and your eye color was different? Nothing else changed, just the color of your eyes.

I Don't Get It

I just saw a commercial for a precription sleep aid. In the very fast talk at the end of the commercial, they lisgted side effects. One was drowsiness. If that's a side effect, what is a main effect?

Project Runway Designers and the Female Body

I watch Project Runway - doesn't everybody? The designers have varying awareness of a woman's body. It has been a rather pervasive observation that the average gay male designer (all 3 seasons) doesn't really get how breasts work. They don't seem to know how to take into account things like movement and changes in shape of the various sub-parts (you know what I mean). Not that other designers are any better.

Robert - the departed - seems so freaked out by the presence of normal-sized breasts that he can't deal with the proportions, and has to drape them with multiple layers of heavy fabric. Jeffrey for some reason has to design everything with asymmetry in the bust area. I can only imagine what twisted distorted viewpopint that reflects. And poor Laura - real women with real breasts don't wear things with 4" wide cleavage down to our navel. You're not convincing us with endless peeks at your bony sternum. Vincent likes the female form a bit too much, and has to add the most extravagant flourishes to the upper body. Michael gets it, but he's about it.

Aside to Jeffrey - anyone with a big blatant tattoo all over his neck and not a single spot of ink anywhere on his torso comes off as a bit of a poseur. So, is it henna or is it Sharpie?

I'm Not a Terrorist

I have a feeling that merely posting this will be enough to get me in trouble, but what doesn't these days? I have an idea, better than shoes, better than juice boxes, for getting bad things on board airplanes. As an aside, is it enough to get you on the no-fly list if you have Dr Scholl's gel insoles in your shoes?

I think the best way to get something on an airplane, which will only work for women or good impersonators/transvestites, is the bra. Specifically the breast. They already move rather like gel so who would notice. Nobody's going to grope to check them out. There is no way that extra attention for large-breasted women would be even remotely acceptable - political correctness can be your friend. It's not even polite to stare long enough to notice odd shapes or bumps, and certainly nobody would ever say anything or do anything about it.

If anyone tries, let me know how it goes. If you work for the TSA or Homeland Security - go away; this is just free speech.

Secure?

Recent world events have resulted in a change in airport security. It seems there are 3 things that can be carried on an airplane, each of which is benign and uninteresting in isolation. Two of them can look like liquid, gel, lotion, something like that. The other is a filament such as one would find in a christmas light or a camera flash bulb. If you were running the TSA, which would you choose to ban from all carry-on bags? Would you choose to disallow all items of a particular consistency, or would you focus on the less common but essential ingredient that has the added bonus of being metal and thus detactable using the methods currently in place?