Fish Obvious

My goal for 2007 is to get a new phrase into the English language. Not just any old phrase, but the phrase "fish obvious." It means as unmistakable as being hit in the face with a fish. Note the elegant brevity. Phonetically it works, at least as well as anything containing the word "obvious" does. It easily evokes an amusing visual image. It's a great phrase. Please help me get it out there. The world needs "fish obvious."

Public Phone Calls, part 2

On the bus again - it's where I have time to listen in for long enough to get the story without anyone noticing or caring. This time it was a young woman - very young, not legal to drink I'm sure. There was a guy sitting next to her, with his arm around her. She, on the other hand was turned away from him, arms crossed, legs crossed, talking and talking. It was mostly chatter - who did and said what, who's going where with whom, the usual. Then she tossed in a few endearments, "love ya", and hangs up.

As soon as she's done she's all over the guy, stroking his thigh, his face, asking him to hold her hand. Total change. I wanted to ask him how he could possibly miss the signals, if he had the least idea she was not terribly interested in him and probably cheating. He'll find out soon enough, and he'd never believe me anyway. Maybe if I said I was psychic.

Seasonal Trophies

I had to drive a couple of towns down the road today. As I was driving, I realized it's the trophy transition season. I still saw a few deer carcasses loaded on the back of a truck, but there were a lot more of a different kind of carcass. It's tree-hunting time again.

I can understand the deer hunters. A few days ago Calvin the genius-dog caught a rabbit in the back yard. As he stood there with a large rabbit hanging out of his mouth, pride in his stance and tail wagging happily, he reminded me of people talking about their deer hunt. I can see there's a skill, and patience, and a number of benefits to the accomplishment.

On the other hand, I don't get the whole tree-hunting thing. It's not that hard to find and sneak up on an evergreen, and they hardly ever fight back once you start on the kill. And it's not a terribly humane way to kill either, hacking it apart with an axe. But killing a tree and displaying the trophy in your home is supposed in some way to commemorate a birthday. I don't get how a dead tree relates to a birthday, and I can't see the connection between the killing and the promise of salvation and eternal life. Maybe it's just another facet of death in the name of religion.

Last night I played hockey. Towards the end of the second game, one of the refs skated over to talk to me. He told me I was a zen goalie - calm, waited, and everything works out. That would be so cool.